Memorize these sweet maneuvers and always keep the ladies coming back for more.

1. The Tea-bagging
The all time classic maneuver of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase - "Who's Your daddy?"

2. The Houdini
Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.

3. The Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon.

4. Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

5. Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit moustache. This makes her look like >> someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

6. The Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

7. The Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

8. The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

9. The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

10. The Zombie Mask
While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

11. The Chocolate Hammer

Also known as Ramming it Home for the Team.  This is when you asks your bitch during sex if she likes chocolate.  When she says yes, you jam it in her ass, and yell "Hell Yeah!  Chocolate Hammer bitch!"
 

12. The Shocker

Everyone knows the shocker one way or another. 

2 in the Goo + 1 in the Poo

or

Shout of the devil for the running start Shocker.

13. The Whahoo McDaniels

This is an all-time favorite. Fuck your dirty slut in the missonary till she is about to cum. Just as she about to go, you stop and slap across the tits yelling "Woooooo!" (Also known as the Ric Flair chop).
Then flip the bitch a $20 and walk out.

14. The Bullwinkle

That lovable moose is back to cause some havoc. Fuck your random slut doggy style. Then pull your dick out and stick it in the whore's ass. When she turns around to see what the hell you are thinking, put your thumbs in your ears with your hands flaired out for the antler effect. Then yell this precise noise (Click here). (Must be done incorherntly)

15. The Fart Hammer

Pump her with all you got in the missionary. Then blow your hot and sticky man goo in her face. When she thinks its over, you put your ass up to her face and let go the biggest, wettest fart that you can fester. She's sure to come back for more.

16. The Flithy Camel-Jockey

Ride your least favorite whore of the week by getting her in the ass. Then put on the random Turben from under the bed, put it on and stick it in her ass. Proceed by yelling random Xena/ducka-ducka-ducka noises. When your about to cum, pull out and wazz on back. Tell her she is woman and therefore just an object. You have to leave or else you've you have to start over. I can't believe how awesome I am.

17. The Mexican Stand-Off

Sit down your favorite loose slut on a chair/couch. Pull off her pants and undies. Make fake guns with your fingers like you did when you were a kid. Rapidly insert your guns in here vessel. See how long you can go before she beats you. Send me your high scores.

18. The Zit

Stick you dick in the bitches mouth. As you feel that your orgasm is about to come, hold her nose tight and dont let here stop. Then cum and she'll be forced to swallow and punch her in the gut. If you think that is harse, you can just pop her cheeks and make white goo go everywhere like a bad zit.

19. The "Eh Steve!"
When nailing your senial grandmother's roomate in her nursing home, since she believes you're the 1921 summer sex toy in Pebble Beach that really did love her, yell the standard catch phrase, "Eh Steve!" when you're unleashing your floodgates of baby-batter into her crocodile purse of a twat! To make a hasty escape, and entertain your crazed grandma who has been watching the hot, steamy, chaffing sex from her bed, wheelchair-jack her! Scream "I'll get you Eh Steve! If it's the last thing I doooooo!" chasing the roommate's prescription medication induced hallucination out of the room thus also achieving an all new height of confusion with your grandma.
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20. Shit Dick Love

This is one is for old smoothy. When your girl says she has to shit, rip off her clothes and start fucking her in the ass with no condom. Then pull out your poop-writhin dick and draw a big heart on her chest. If you accomplish this, she's yours forever. Awwwwww. I wove you.

21. The Puzzle Fuck

Jigsaw aint got nothin on this bitch. So for this sophisticated maneuver you have to find a scank with some real class. In the heat of the hot sticky sex, stick all of your pieces in the wrong places. Dick in the ear, finger in the nose, and foot in the twat. This always causes mass confusion and sometimes death. Use with caution.

22. The Simon Fuck

Remember the eighties? Remember tossing off to big hair and leg warmers? Well thank fucking God I don't! This one requires a little bit of preparation, but is colorful. Both of you paint one tit red, one tit blue, one ass cheek yellow, and the other ass cheek green. While bumping uglies, "Simon" against each other. Note: If you actually do this your sex life is pathetically boring. If the male loses, he has to felch his steamy load out of her ass! If the girl loses. . . same thing. . . still her ass.